These people are the reason I stay. They are the reason I continue to create. They are the reason I have not yet given up on myself. I owe them more than I could ever repay.
Hello, everyone. To begin, I hope you will accept my humble apology for my absence. As of late, my life has been… difficult, at best. When I left over a month ago, I was helping my fiancé move into his new apartment. At that point, his college loans and scholarship money had not yet come in, and I was responsible paying for a week long, thousand mile trip on my own. On top of that, he did not receive the apartment he had signed up for (but they were very gracious about it and gave him a large per-month discount until they can get him into the correct floor plan), so none of the plans I had for furniture went over the way I had hoped. I threw out my back and injured my shoulder moving furniture, so I had to spend a lot of my money on meds and an arm brace.
In the four days between returning to town and leaving again, my car completely shut down. It wouldn't drive more than a hundred yards without the engine shutting down. More on that later. After that we headed off to GenCon and what we had thought would be a good bit of money. Unfortunately, after we arrived we were informed that we would not be getting paid for working. I ended up working the whole weekend in an uncomfortable environment, making no money, and having to buy meals for three to four people a day, depending on who asked. We did get our room for free, but we had to share with seven other people. We had nine people in our room, so I was sleeping on the floor a week (because the car we returned with took a three day detour, tacking on three days' worth of meals for me and my fiancé that I had not expected to have to purchase).
When I arrived back in town, my sister's wedding had completely taken over. I was forced to spend the last day I would have with my fiancé until THE DAY WE GET MARRIED going two hours out of town to babysit my little sister while my older sister bought clothes. Along with that, due to my lack of a vehicle, I was constantly berated for being unable to cart my sister and her fiancé all over town. I was also required to buy food and decorations for their reception, and was forced to let them borrow one of my favourite typewriters (which an enterprising toddler proceeded to ruin).
Once that mess (and yes, it was a mess. She was a screaming entitled bride who did no work and had nothing planned until a week ahead of time (she didn't even get invitations out until about five days before…)) was over, I was finally able to concentrate on what I had going on. Remember that car that stopped running? Turns out EVERYTHING in my engine needed to be replaced (spark plugs, O2 sensors, all kinds of tubes and things you don't care about), timing belt, all in all close to $1,000 worth of work. When all that was done, I was told the car was fine. I had driven three blocks when the car overheated, the AC went out, and the engine shut down. I was forced to put my car back in the shop to get the clutch replaced and the fly-wheel resurfaced (the joys of driving a manual…), which cost me $600 dollars. Added to the new tires I put in at the beginning of the summer, I spent over $2,000 on this car (which I have found out I may not even be able to take, as my dad is not going to help me transfer the title from into my name).
I burned through my savings, but that was fine because I have a job with the school district and would be making $20 an hour this year, so it's fine, right? But hey! Guess who WAS NOT TOLD that she wasn't being hired back on until the day before work was supposed to start? Yeah, that'd be me. I lost the job that accounted for 75% of all the money I made, and to top it all off, it turns out I'm losing my other job at the end of next month. There is no place in town that is hiring. I have applied to every place I could, and of the ones that got back to me, none of them needed someone with "your precise qualifications." As of right now, I have less than $300 dollars to my name and absolutely no job prospects.
I had wanted so badly to have some of you and a few other artists do the artwork for my reception guestbook, but I regret to say I will not have the funds to pay for commissions. It's really upsetting to me, because I know a few of you that I wish could actually be there and it would have meant so much to me to have at least your art there. (I'll be thinking of you, and I'll post pictures, though, if anyone wants to see.)
HERE'S THE IMPORTANT PART! I've been struggling with some issues with myself, and I've gotten very behind on my art. I know that I have very many things that I owe to people, and I'm going to start working harder than ever on them, if not to make sure I don't disappoint you then just to keep my mind off of everything that's been going so wrong lately. I will be getting things I owe people done as soon as I possibly can, I promise.
At the same time, I may have developed a new species. Once I feel caught up, I'll announce them. They will be a closed species, I will be making adopts of them (which will be a bit more expensive than my normal ones (I feel bad about that, I know my stuff isn't that good but I need the chance to make more money, I'm in a tough spot, so please please forgive me.)). HOWEVER I am considering "leasing" out the rights to the species (a small percentage of adopts made, or a set price to create your own character perhaps.) So if you're interested, stay tuned for that.
I'm so sorry for the huge rambling mess that this journal turned into. Also, I'm sorry that it's not pretty like my other journals, my premium ran out and it's just… not a huge priority right now. If you actually read this, I thank you so so much, and hope that one day I can repay you somehow. There are some of you who have always been there for me, and from the bottom of my heart, I thank you. I hope one day to be able to repay your kindness.